his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
