This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
