so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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