I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
