My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
