i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
