I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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