new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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