I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
