Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
