Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We were destined to go to rehab together
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
