i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
