we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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