Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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