I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
