why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
