Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
