i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
