your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
