It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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