I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
