I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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