If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
