What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
