is your mom at the bar?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
