Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
