So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
