your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
