The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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