He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
