God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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