Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
