Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do herpes really smell.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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