you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I deserve this hangover.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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