this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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