I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
