Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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