the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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