I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
