i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
