You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
