Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
