Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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