if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
