:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
