maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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