i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
