You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
