google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
