I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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